eine literarische Spurensuche
Kölner Migration / von Marco Hasenkopf

 Die Moritat vom braven Präsidenten

(basierend auf I shot the sheriff)


I shot Bin Laden

But I didn't shoot all terrorists, oh no! Oh.

I shot Bin Laden

But I didn't shoot the deputies, ooh, ooh!

All around in my home country,

They're trying to track me down,

I was a poor boy with idealism

And a winner of the nobel peace prize

Now I'm corrupted by the power of my duty.


Osama Bin Laden always hated me,

For what, I don't know:

Maybe I'm the good cop of the world

And a God of the kingdom capitalism

Presidency came my way one day

And I started out of country, yeah!

All of the sudden I saw terrorist Bin Laden

Aiming to shoot my country down,

So I shot – I shot – I shot him down and I say:

If I am happy I will pay!


There are still a few good,

There are still a few bad,

But I will decide!

And I have the right for first strike!

Because I have the licence to kill unarmed bad guys - jippijajey!!!

I shot Bin Laden,

I shot Bin Laden,

But I swear it was in selfdefence!


Don't ask, shot!

Frag' nicht, schieß'!

Don't talk, kill!

Rede nicht, töte!

Don't listen, ignore!

Hör' nicht zu, ignoriere!

Don't develop, consume!

Entwickle dich nicht, konsummiere!


Yes, we can! – Oh, Lord!

Yes, we can destroy our own planet

With champagne I'll assist the doom

So let's fire nuclear bombs for the final fireworks

I will defeat all evil

I will conquer over East, West, South und North

And I will beat EU, Islam and the stupid Chinese!!!

Yes, I will defeat all evil

And I still believe in THE WEIHNACHTSMANN

(the good part of the world call him Santa Clause)

I shot Bin Laden,

But I didn't shoot all deputies,

I swear it was in selfdefence.

And I will not return my noble peace prize – oh no, no.

Yes, we... what!?... Schubidudidu!!!


05.05.11 Marco Hasenkopf

Erklärung für die Geheimdienste: Der Autor dieses Textes ist kein Freund, Befürworter, Unterstützer des Terrorismus. FREE WORDS! FREE ARTS! FREE THOUGHTS! I shot the sheriff – ist ein Song von Bob Marley.